otis_doglump

Today a little black doggy came and started a fight with me, i bit him and picked him up but mummy choked me before i could hurt him, spoil sport. 

Now i have to go to puppy school and there is talk of taking my balls if i can't learn to behave, i had best try to be an A* student if i want to keep my testicles. 

I didn't like being left outside the shop tied to a bin so i chewed my way to freedom and eated my lead, i was about to escape when my tummy rumbled and i realised i had food and pigs ears at home so i tried to make it look like i hadn't eated my lead and sat there with the most innocent face i could pull...it didn't work

Now mummy has bought me a big metal chain that hurts my teethys when i try to bite it :(

I had a nice big walk in the big park today, but then my tummy wasn't very happy and i threwed up :(

Now i can't stop farting.

I've discovered that my feet are a constant source of tasty treats, i like to lick them all day long and all night long too...

Mmmm the house smells like sausages, i hope they are all for me.

Last night mummy gave me pizza for being a good boy while she was out, it was tasty good, she smelled like dirty metallers when she got home, i don't even know what that is, but she did.  Today i went to the big park and walked for ages in the sunshine and looked at ducks, but didn't eat any cos i wasn't allowed.

The house doesn't smell of baby bunnys any more :( i wanted to play with them. 

I is a dog lump

Yesterday i did a big shit on auntie angelas rug, today i got loads of attention from sam, she dressed me up in clothes and took pictures, there was talk of a bumble bee costume. 

The house smells of baby bunnys but mummy says i'm not allowed to eat them, i ate her other homer simpson slipper instead, he is definatly dead now.

I'm going for a nap now to dream of eating chavs zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ